Fanficcing With Claude: A Curious Case, Chapter 1 (J. H.W.)

The Curious Case of the Kentish Clergyman is a Pride and Prejudice mystery, serialized here in chapters. This opening chapter is presented in the voice of Dr. John H. Watson; the manuscript that follows is narrated throughout by Elizabeth Bennet Darcy.

"John," said my wife one evening last spring, looking up from a litter of papers that had colonised the whole of the dining table, "what was your grandmother Watson's name before she married?"

I considered the question over my pipe and was obliged to confess I had no idea.

"Your great-grandmother, then."

"My dear Mary, I could not swear to my grandmother's Christian name without notice. I am a doctor and a biographer. I leave the begats to the clergy."

She made a note and went back to her papers, and I thought no more of it. Mary had taken up the study of her own family that winter, in the patient way that women of her temper take up such things, with a deal of correspondence and a great many afternoons given over to parish registers. She had run her own people back as far as the registers would carry her, found them respectable and unremarkable in equal measure, and turned, for want of fresh quarry, to mine.

My people are north-country, and the north does not throw things away: within the fortnight a cousin of mine near Scarborough had sent down two hampers of family papers that nobody had opened since the Regency. Mary worked through them with her registers at her elbow. Somewhere in the second hamper was a journal, kept by some gentleman of the family in a hand like a cavalry charge; she gave an evening to it, reported that it concerned chiefly partridges, and set it aside in favour of the parish registers, which at least were legible. For three weeks the dining table was lost to us. Then one evening she set a single sheet beside my plate and stood watching me with a look of barely suppressed glee.

"Read it through twice," she said. "You will want to."

The line she had traced was mine, not hers; and it ran back, through a marriage in the early part of the century, to a Hertfordshire family of small fortune and considerable wit, and from there, by a turning I shall set out in its proper place, into the maternal ancestry of the two men I knew best in the world.

I read it through twice. Then I put on my coat and went to Baker Street.

Holmes heard me out without interruption, which was itself remarkable. When I had done he sat a moment with his fingertips together in the old attitude.

"You will want my brother," he said. "Mycroft has had the documents for some years."

"You knew of this?"

"I knew that there were papers in the family. Mycroft keeps such things." He reached for his pipe. "Go to the Diogenes, Watson. He will receive you, which you may take as the measure of how little the matter excites him."

I had my hand on the door when he spoke again.

"You understand that I am pleased to own you for a cousin," he said, without looking up from the pipe. "But you must not flatter yourself that the discovery raises you in my estimation. A man could not have been more valuable to me than you have already contrived to be, and the matter was settled long before our kinship was discovered." He struck a match. "Give my regards to Mycroft. He will not return them, but the form should be observed."

It is the nearest thing to a sentiment I ever had from him, and he buried it, as he buried all such things, under a remark about something else. I went down the stairs better pleased than the words alone would account for.

Mycroft Holmes received me in the Stranger's Room of the Diogenes Club the following afternoon, immense and immovable, and confirmed the whole of it before I had got my hat off. "Sit down, Doctor. Sherlock wired me this morning. You will want the manuscript."

"You have known of this — how long?"

"The better part of ten years."

"And it did not strike you as worth mentioning?"

"It struck me as a fact." He looked at me the way he looks at a column of figures that has added up correctly. "An interesting fact. I considered whether it bore upon anything, concluded that it did not, and gave my attention to matters that did. Had the connexion ever become relevant to any business in hand, you would have heard of it within the hour."

"Relevant to business," I said. "My kinship by blood to you and your brother?"

"Just so."

I have known few men who could deliver so extraordinary a thing so flatly, and I did not try to make him feel it more than he did. One does not improve Mycroft by prodding him.

He fetched the manuscript himself, trusting it to no club servant. It was a great square parcel, wrapped against the dust, heavier than it looked.

"What is it?" I asked. "Mary's paper goes no further than the names."

"An account of certain events in Hertfordshire and Kent, a matter of eighty years ago, set down some while afterward by the lady to whom they occurred. She had it privately circulated among the family. I have read it once." He pushed the club's ledger across for my signature. "I shall tell you nothing else about it, and within the week you will thank me for that."

"Is it so dull?"

"It is the other thing," said Mycroft, and rang for my coat.

It was long, and I read it through twice before I understood why I could not put it down. I had gone to it as a curiosity of the blood: a chance to see, as it were, the rough ore from which two such singular intelligences had been refined. I found an account, written by a lady of uncommon penetration, of the man she married; and in that man I met, set down plainly for the first time, a temper I had been studying at close quarters for the better part of twenty years without ever quite getting the measure of it.

The lady, whom I shall call Elizabeth Darcy, was the keenest observer I have encountered on the page, and she missed very little. But the gift the manuscript explained to me was her husband's. In her account of Mr. Darcy I came at last upon the thing that years of watching Sherlock Holmes light a pipe and pronounce upon a stranger's regiment, his griefs, and his bootmaker had never made clear to me: what such a faculty costs the man who carries it, and what it asks of those obliged to live within range of it. Elizabeth Darcy reveals her husband to us. Her husband, in turn, has made my friend legible to me at last. The debt runs in that direction, and I am content to leave it there.

There is one further figure in these pages whom I cannot pass without a word, though I shall be brief, for the comparison does no kindness to anyone. The lady's father, a gentleman of wit and indolence in equal measure, sits among his books while the affairs of his house go forward without his hand. He sees everything and stirs for nothing. I have sat in the Stranger's Room of the Diogenes Club and watched the same economy of effort in a far greater mind, applied to far greater questions, and arriving too often at the same repose. I am fond of Mycroft Holmes. I will say no more than that.

One smaller irony I set down once and then leave alone: that it should fall to me, descended through the elder and gentler of the two sisters, to lay the younger sister's manuscript before the public. Elizabeth Darcy would, I think, have been amused. She was amused by most things, including herself, which is among the reasons one trusts her.

It was Mary who closed the circle. On the evening I finished the manuscript the second time, I told her something of what it contained; and she sat very still through the better part of it, and then went out of the room without a word, and came back carrying the journal with the unfortunate handwriting.

"John," she said. "The partridge gentleman was called Charles Bingley."

We read it together that night, she deciphering and I attending, until the candles wanted replacing. The diarist found in the second hamper was the amiable gentleman mentioned in these pages: the friend at Mr. Darcy's elbow, the husband of the elder sister, my own great-grandfather. He kept his cheerful, blotted, headlong record at the same time that the lady of this manuscript was watching everything he missed.

I will be honest about what I found in it, since the reader will discover it in any case. Mr. Bingley saw a great deal and understood very little of it, and set the whole down with perfect fidelity and no suspicion of what he carried. He records that his friend was grave, and gives three sentences to the covey. He is never once ahead of events. He is kind about everyone, including one or two persons about whom kindness was an error of some magnitude. And I read him with a discomfort that took me several entries to place, until Mary placed it for me by laughing at something I had not thought was a joke. I have passed my life at the elbow of a man who reads a stranger's history in his watch-chain, recording faithfully what I saw, and understanding it afterward, when it was explained to me. I know the office. It appears to be hereditary.

Three practical matters, and I have done.

First, as to discretion. The events the manuscript relates were grave, and some of those concerned left descendants who do not deserve to inherit the knowledge of them. I have altered the names of the guilty and of their nearest kin, and a handful of places besides. I have given away nothing of the resolution, and the reader who hopes I will spare him the lady's own unfolding of the business will be disappointed, and rightly. It is her story. She tells it in her own order.

Second, as to her manner of telling it. Elizabeth Darcy wrote these pages a great many years after the events they describe, from the settled vantage of a long marriage and a changed world. She knew, as she wrote, how every doubt resolved and every danger ended, and she declines, almost entirely, to make use of that knowledge. She keeps herself inside the season she is describing, with every error live and unredeemed, and she does not reach back from safety to comfort her younger self or to warn the reader. It is a discipline I have rarely seen sustained for ten pages together, and she sustains it for four hundred. I have tried to honour it by keeping out of her way.

Third, as to the journal. The lady's account cannot follow the gentlemen into the gun-room, onto the London road, behind the doors where her husband's part of the business was done. At those few points where her page cannot see, I have set in an entry of Mr. Bingley's in its proper place in the chronology. I have corrected nothing beyond what legibility demanded. The hand is dreadful and the spelling original, and Mary, who transcribed the entries, wishes it recorded that she has earned her place on this title page twice over. The reader will be ahead of the diarist on every page of his that follows, which is as it should be. He was ahead of nobody in his life, and was the better loved for it. The reader will always know whose page he is on.

When I had finished the manuscript the first time, I sent a note round to the Diogenes conceding that Mycroft had been right to tell me nothing. His reply was on my breakfast table by nine o'clock: "Of course. You now understand why I read it only once."

I have thought about that sentence a good deal since. The reader who finishes these pages will know what he meant by it — and will know, too, why a man who forgets nothing chose, in this one case, never to look again into the mirror it provided him, reflecting a man much like himself, and another man much like his brother, in the long-ago days of the Prince Regent.

— J. H. W.

State of the Author, Summer 2026 Edition

This has been a stressful couple of months, for reasons that I’ve alluded to here and here. The real life stuff mentioned in the second post are still ongoing, so prayers are welcome. In the meantime, here’s what’s happened on the writing front in the meantime:

Three Ladies in Black: done at ~46000 words, except possibly for minor tweaks before formatting, publishing et al. This is the first in a planned series of Ruritanian cozy mysteries with an alt-history angle. Why Ruritanian cozy mysteries with an alt-history angle? Well, if you held a gun to my head, I probably could write something that didn’t sit across three different genres like a disgruntled hippopotamus, but where would be the fun in that? Anyway, the plan is to start a new pen name (possibly implied to be a pseudonym of the femme fatale narrator) and publish the first three together sometime in 2027-2028, then assess how well they do. 

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AI as Writer’s Assistant: Marketing with AI 

To the extent that I have a philosophy of AI use, it comes to this: I want AI to handle the tasks I don’t enjoy. Falling in love with a set of characters, following them through their adventures, figuring out how the world around them works…to me, those are the fun parts. If I care enough about a story to want to see it on Amazon with a proper cover and a nonzero chance of someone besides me reading it and caring about it, I want to draft it myself. Hunting for typos and logic fails and things I did wrong? Not the fun parts, which is why I have been using AI more in the revision process. Writing a fanfic nobody but me wants to read? Fun but not as fun as it might be, plus it takes mental energy away from writing things that I might be able to sell. Hence, the Fanficcing with Claude label that turns up in this blog. And then there’s marketing. 

Marketing does not come easily to some writers, and I am one of them. When I’m happy with my writing, my opinion of it sounds too egotistical to share. When I’m unhappy with it, my opinion is too depressing for words. As for keywords, blurbs, covers, search engine optimization, noun phrase optimization, my brain tends to lock up or go down unhelpful rabbit holes. So, I turned to AI, first for cover art and blurb help and then for other marketing tasks.  So, a quick rundown on what I’ve done: 

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Hunter Healer King 3 blurb

This was a collaboration with Claude.ai, but a bit different from my usual. I had a chat going covering several aspects of the final stretch of the book: dictation cleanup, brainstorming and revision thoughts (basically me feeding it my revisions and seeing if it caught anything obviously wrong like typos, awkward sentences or me losing track of the characters’ movements). The reference docs included a summary of our previous chat, covering the “darkest hour” stretch of the book. Claude’s cheerleading had been very helpful through both these stretches of story, which were difficult to write. I fed the blurbs from the past two books into this chat (which had gotten long enough in terms of total tokens to where Anthropic was throttling it every few messages for a couple of hours). Claude naturally focused way too much on the spoilery third act it knew best, so I had to summarize the earlier stages of the story for it. It then gave me a rough draft I could use, and we went through several rounds of me tweaking it, asking the AI for feedback from a book marketing POV, and me tweaking it some more. The final (for now) version is below the cut, with human text in bold. The taglines for each character are carryovers from earlier blurbs, and have been italicized.

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Frequently Seen Questions About Writing

Occasionally, I offer moral support and solutions that worked for me in the comments section of other writing blogs, but I don’t do a lot of it here. What works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. That being said, I’m seeing certain things come up over and over again in certain places on the web, and I feel like I have to put my oar in. Since nobody asked me, I can’t call them “Frequently Asked Questions,” but I feel comfortable calling this “Frequently Seen Questions…” 

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Midjourney Monday: Spot the Difference

I had to use “Vary Region” on this image. Vary Region is a Midjourney tool which keeps most of the image intact and only changes one area in it. The first image below is the revised image, the second one below is the original. Can you see what was changed?

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State of the Author, Start of 2025

My plans for the New Year are always kind of vague, because “Mann tracht un Gott lacht” (Man plans, and God laughs).

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The Novels of Marie Belloc Lowndes: The Ones That End Where Agatha Christie Begins

(Note: As previously indicated, the Lowndes books I have read are mostly available on Gutenberg and/or Amazon. In past reviews of early 20th century books, I have not made any effort to offer content warnings, on the assumption that anybody reading these reviews knows better than to expect present-day attitudes on certain topics from books of this timeframe. I am continuing with that assumption here.)

Alot of Agatha Christie’s novels feel like we’re on the outside of some messy domestic situation, looking in at the situation shortly before and after it turns violent. If you ever wondered what seeing the inside of those situations would be like, you’re in luck! Marie Belloc Lowndes wrote lots of those. The characterization is a mile wide and an inch deep, and the situations tend to repeat themselves, but to me, there’s something insistent and weirdly compelling about the way Lowndes shows the reader every component in these emotional powder kegs. As a bonus, you get a good look at the kind of expectations authors like Agatha Christie set out to subvert, because the whodunnit components of these mysteries tend to be pretty banal.

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Weird Wednesday: Reviews of Old Mysteries

Golden Age Mysteries are one of my default things to read when I don’t know what I want to read. I thought I’d share thoughts on a few of the less famous mystery writers to cross my radar:

-Victor Luhrs: responsible for The Longbow Murders, a fairly bonkers historical mystery where ruthless, brawling warrior-king Richard the Lion-Hearted solves a series of murders with the help of a twerpy scribe/narrator/Watson wannabe and some brief forensic work on ballistics from Robin of Locksley (yes that Robin of Locksley, and no he’s not in this very much). I enjoyed this old-school take on Richard I, portrayed here as a brash and hot-tempered man, but not a stupid one. The narrator, who’s kind of useless and spends a lot of time thinking patronizing thoughts about his “poor, fat” wife, is a less appealing character. The book does sell that combination of deep-seated respect for religious subjects, with a comparatively casual attitude towards the clergy, that you see in actual medieval works.

Mystery parts are kind of shaky; the author tries to pull off a “least likely person” twist but hasn’t developed the character well enough to sell the twist. Heck, the author doesn’t even seem to realize that some of the goofier aspects of the mystery (murderer using a long bow at close range and leaving taunting notes around) could be an attempt by the murderer to build up an image of themselves very different from the actuality, to deceive the investigators. Still, I found it more entertaining than alot of works by more respected mystery writers. If you like Randall Garrett’s Lord Darcy stories, this has a fair amount of Garrett-style flippancy, and feels a bit like a Lord Darcy prequel set in Richard’s time (when they haven’t discovered the magic/psionic stuff yet). If you get your ideas about the Plantagenets from Becket, Lion in Winter, or Robin and Marian, stay away – this book will annoy you because it’s operating from a completely different set of preconceptions about what the Plantagenets were and what historical fiction should be.

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Adapting Jane Austen: Sense and Sensibility, the Story in Sussex

S&S has more plot and arguably more appealing characters than Mansfield Park, but has a similar tendency to view character and plot developments from a thousand foot view, and also tends to focus a certain amount of attention on “alternate histories” that don’t come to pass, although it’s not as aggressive about it as Mansfield Park. Our hypothetical adaptation of S&S is a miniseries of four to six episodes of one hour+ apiece, on one of the major streaming services, with a hefty budget and a level of stylization similar to the 2020 Emma, although with a different color palette and “vibe.” I am breaking the story out roughly by location, to make these posts a more manageable size.

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