Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 21

First off, happy tenth anniversary to my blog! For more information about this fanfic project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” This was a good example of why you can’t turn your back on the LLMs. Claude’s initial draft had the Villarreal-Mendoza wedding happening in March, and frost on the River Road. I haven’t been to South Louisiana in a long time, but I remembered enough of the climate to be pretty sure frost was not a routine occurrence, and I’m Catholic enough to know that Lent was not considered to be an optimal time for weddings. What is below is the draft that resulted from my polite discussion with Claude about these issues. I hand-fixed some logistics issues related to the carriage and as usual trimmed the more overwrought bits.

The Fever

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 20

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” There was an Alejandro POV scene before this in the outline, which I decided we didn’t need. Marianne’s intense navel-gazing suits Claude’s style down to the ground, so this is a lightly edited first draft. I did add the reference to Alejandro possibly pursuing Marianne as a mistress or “sidechick.” I feel that this is consistent with Marianne’s social standing and the 1810s New Orleans environment, but I probably got the idea from Kandukondein, where the Willoughby analogue briefly attempts to take the Marianne analogue as a second wife.

A Letter from Alejandro

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 19

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” The original outline used a trip upriver into plantation society to stand in for the the Dashwoods’ visits to London and Cleveland. I became dissatisfied with this. Claude under my guidance reworked the outline so this stretch of scenes about the Alejandro-Marianne subplot took place in New Orleans itself. Below is Claude’s first draft with minor tweaks. I reworked the Anne-Marie Acier reference to make it clear that this character was not a professional seamstress. I added Marianne’s impression of Lucie Acier’s pursuit of Edward, to help justify Marianne’s interpretation of the business between Alejandro and Sofia. I also added the final line. All other changes were me (slightly) trimming down Claude’s general wordiness.

The Villarreal Ball

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 18

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” Claude was particularly dumb with this scene. Inspite of repeated instructions to ignore a spot in the outline for this scene, which had Elise telling Eleonore who the father of the former’s child was, the AI just kept doing it. I finally edited it out of the fourth draft. That one was my fault for not fixing the continuity of the outline better. But the transportation logistics were all on Claude. It started with Eleonore commuting up to the Morin property by steam ferry (in 1813, Claude?) in the first draft, and continued in later drafts with her occasionally traveling there in her mother’s carriage (yeah, no, they’re not wealthy enough to have one anymore) and having her ride fifteen miles to the Morin home only to turn around and go back the same day (yeah no). On the plus side, when I spelled out the parameters for what the story needed the Morin home to be (farm worked by free labor, manageable distance from town, but considered a healthier place to live, and far enough to be a discreet place to give birth to a love child, plants compatible with Creole medicine), Claude offered sound advice. We also had a productive discussion about the slave uprising of 1811 in the German Coast, which you will see some references to below. Eventually, as you can see, I decided this needed to be Marianne POV instead of Eleonore, and that is reflected in the version below.

Caring for Elise

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 17

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” This is the second draft, which I prompted for because a prior connection between the Edward/Lucy characters didn’t work with what we had so far. Apart from that, I have trimmed some of Claude’s usual excesses, and changed the exit line.

Lucie’s Revelation

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 16

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” Well, here we are at what I *think* is the mid-point of the story. Claude’s initial draft got tangled up in its own feet about what Marianne thinks E&E will select in the way of books (correct sentiment, but pronoun trouble), and drifted back into the source novel backstory of Edward having a prior connection with Lucie, in spite of the outline suggesting otherwise. The redraft was to fix these issues. Once I told Claude what I thought was Edward’s issue with declaring himself to Eleonore, Claude did a solid job. But of course the LLMs are all professional championship grade wafflers, and poor Edward is only an amateur at the sport. On an unrelated note, I like the dog on the flatboat.

A Growing Attachment

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 15

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” Claude’s first draft is largely what you see here; I only had it rework the part where Alejandro is genuinely pleased about something. For my part, I dropped the very last sentence of the scene (too much in the style of some of Claude’s other outros), and trimmed the initial description of the room in the house on Rue Royale.

A Blooming Romance

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 14

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” In the first draft, Claude followed the character sheet on a point I had decided against and forgotten to correct (Anne-Marie Acier/Nancy Steele as seamstress) and ignored the same document on a more important point: that the Acier sisters are pretending to be richer than they really are. The redraft was to address these points, and add the idea that the Aciers had been eavesdropping on Eleonore’s conversation with Edward. The version below has a few rewordings by me and continuity tweaks.

Acier

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 13

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” This took several drafts, mostly to clarify a somewhat muddled conversation about whether Mrs. Jennings’ gatherings were orderly or not, and delete named references to a couple of characters who are still a little bit before their formal introduction. And also, get Claude to quote Cowper directly. In terms of interesting Claude innovations, the idea of the Willoughby analogue kind of winding Marianne up and watching her go was new to me. It’s not entirely in line with the source novel, where he tends to parrot her literary opinions, but I decided I liked it here, and left it in. I reworded the overly vague last line slightly and reworked Edward’s thoughts about his father to be somewhat differently expressed than the last time the subject came up.

A Literary Conversation

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Fanficcing with Claude: Sense and Sensibility and Placage, Scene 12

For more information about this project, check out the earlier posts in the category “Sense and Sensibility and Placage.” This was a difficult scene because in the original outline, this was Edward’s introduction, and I decided I wanted him in much, much earlier, as in the source novel. Claude also randomly dropped a woman into the party who I decided was going to be important later, so between that and the emdashes and Robert randomly materializing at Mrs. Jennings’s party, and some other issues, the drafts added up. What you see below is like draft four or five.

Edward and Robert

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